just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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