I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My pussy is not your playground.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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