i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
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Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
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you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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