I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
