It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
bring money and cleavage
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
