SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
