What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
