Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
