the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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