in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
