i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
