its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize