similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
