Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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