The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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