Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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