A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
