if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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