Already got asked if we're dating
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Randomize
