I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
