Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
