It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
