so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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