It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
