well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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