she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
