Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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