Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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