dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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