you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
