The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
