jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
