never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
