When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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