Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
third nipple confirmed
pray to the hookup gods
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
