I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
They took my balls.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
The air taste purple.
Randomize
