Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize