true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
