i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
