Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
