I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Randomize
