Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Randomize
