At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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