its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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