I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Those nachos came to me in a dream
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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