Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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