Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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