i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
