ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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