i permit you to call me
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
