sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
