hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
