My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize