got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
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It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
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I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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