a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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