k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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