and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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