woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize