We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
