Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
