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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.

  (281): View more from Texas

  No. Just liquor. Time's no good.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.

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• 

  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?

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• (206): View more from Washington

  He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look

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• (619): View more from California

  surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint

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  The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Who are you high with right now?

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dude. Do it.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.

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