Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?

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(586): View more from Michigan

Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.

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(425): View more from Washington

i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(907): View more from Alaska

I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘

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(907): View more from Alaska

She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater

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(203): View more from Connecticut

And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.

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