He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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