why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”