Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.

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  (404): I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00. http://tfl.nu/7rzt
  Replies (9) Good night (5193) Bad night (1098)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party

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  (954): youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party http://tfl.nu/dv0f
  Replies (7) Good night (2995) Bad night (884)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Walk of Shame. In a state park.

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  (712): Walk of Shame. In a state park. http://tfl.nu/aczj
  Replies (8) Good night (3058) Bad night (688)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.

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  (740): He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy. http://tfl.nu/j5xn
  Replies (7) Good night (820) Bad night (2880)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can

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  (403): That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can http://tfl.nu/qmqm
  Replies (28) Good night (885) Bad night (4416)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.

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  (703): you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still. http://tfl.nu/6jjh
  Replies (23) Good night (5324) Bad night (924)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.

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  (208): My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done. http://tfl.nu/2aew
  Replies (23) Good night (4225) Bad night (1996)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.

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  (248): he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question. http://tfl.nu/v6vq
  Replies (11) Good night (1031) Bad night (4628)
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  (310): View more from California

  My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.

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  (310): My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in. http://tfl.nu/bth8
  Replies (14) Good night (1288) Bad night (2842)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house

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  (410): I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house http://tfl.nu/84we
  Replies (5) Good night (1783) Bad night (835)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember

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  (251): He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember http://tfl.nu/p8oz
  Replies (2) Good night (1620) Bad night (800)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?

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  (615): I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed? http://tfl.nu/0gei
  Replies (22) Good night (824) Bad night (2628)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture

  (410): View more from Maryland

  dude you're not even a fucking science major

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  (717): Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture (410): dude you're not even a fucking science major http://tfl.nu/vino
  Replies (4) Good night (1201) Bad night (402)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.

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  (513): Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect. http://tfl.nu/ksxu
  Replies (2) Good night (396) Bad night (1046)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.

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  (515): Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away. http://tfl.nu/jux9
  Replies (2) Good night (1169) Bad night (441)

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