Texts From Last Night

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...

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  (706): first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor... http://tfl.nu/ezfa
  Replies (7) Good night (759) Bad night (3579)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.

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  (917): and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter. http://tfl.nu/zjf3
  Replies (25) Good night (1089) Bad night (4016)
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  (760): View more from California

  Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?

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  (760): Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get? http://tfl.nu/1t41
  Replies (12) Good night (3931) Bad night (754)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..

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  (248): She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls.. http://tfl.nu/aren
  Replies (5) Good night (2671) Bad night (1311)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire

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  (847): I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire http://tfl.nu/ncts
  Replies (10) Good night (5201) Bad night (1754)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets

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  (717): no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/m579
  Replies (5) Good night (3730) Bad night (819)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(

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  (732): Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :( http://tfl.nu/fasb
  Replies (8) Good night (1130) Bad night (3176)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.

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  (409): You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you. http://tfl.nu/firf
  Replies (3) Good night (2525) Bad night (1016)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.

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  (609): We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend. http://tfl.nu/121k
  Replies (7) Good night (1171) Bad night (482)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.

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  (740): Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life. http://tfl.nu/e384
  Replies (6) Good night (1711) Bad night (502)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think

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  (724): So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think http://tfl.nu/tp1z
  Replies (4) Good night (905) Bad night (422)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.

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  (416): I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex. http://tfl.nu/t4eg
  Replies (4) Good night (912) Bad night (393)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea

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  (203): I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/mb1p
  Replies (0) Good night (393) Bad night (477)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."

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  (630): my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation." http://tfl.nu/ju2j
  Replies (4) Good night (803) Bad night (402)
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  (235): View more from

  if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?

  (366): View more from

  except your soul

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  (235): if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right? (366): except your soul http://tfl.nu/vptx
  Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (679)

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