Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you had me at cake vodka
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize