why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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