I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
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He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
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Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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