i just had sex bonerless
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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