i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My feet surprised me
Randomize
