i just had sex bonerless
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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